So a question I get a lot out in the wild is, ‘what do you do?’. When I tell people that I am a doula most of the time they don’t know what that is. Which is a little bit sad because if you’re having a baby or if you recently just have had a baby, a doula is the very person that you want in your life.
Though, honestly? Before the birth of my daughter, I had no idea what a doula is or the work that we do. I was blissfully unaware of the struggle of birth/delivery and postpartum. I had no idea of the effort it takes to deliver a baby from your body into the outside world. I was never around newborns, my only sibling was born when I was five years old, and never watched any realistic movies or documentaries about what it takes for the human race to survive. Anyone who has had a baby knows that it’s a miracle that humans have survived as a species especially since our infants are particularly helpless when compared to other great apes.
Anyways, doulas are caregivers to pregnant people and the newly postpartum. There are also death doulas, fertility doulas, and abortion doulas. For the purpose of this post I’ll only talk about birth and postpartum. Birth doulas do a couple of things, there is usually a couple educational sessions prior to birth, then they are on call from 37 weeks until you deliver. They meet you during active labour and support your throughout the birth. My Toronto birth doula was Vera, a lovely, experienced, and no nonsense doula here in town. I will never be able to repay her (even though I did pay her) for her presence during the birth of my daughter. I felt safe, secure, and listened to during the whole 30 some hour ordeal. Vera was my advocate and a support person for my partner (who was otherwise useless).
I am so privileged, because I not only had a birth doula I also had a postpartum doula in Toronto. Her name is Mira and she is Vera’s sister. From the very first night, Mira was with us helping me recover and allowing us to sleep after an extended hospital stay. She was like a favourite auntie, family you actually like, sharing her knowledge of newborns. Newborns are wild. They’re like little potatoes because they don’t really do anything. But they also illicit from you massive feelings especially if you decided to lactate. I can’t even remember what those early postpartum days were like except for the raging anxiety that coursed through my body. Thankfully, Mira was there offering a sense of calm that was so palpable it would wash over me during our sessions.
Postpartum doulas take care of the birth giver. I became a postpartum doula mainly due to my own lived experience. We also help with light household chores, lactation, and some meal prep. For me, all I needed was someone to hold space with me, someone who has done this crazy thing before, someone who could reassure me that I was doing it right. Also, someone to hold my Velcro baby because she absolutely refused to be put down. She never slept in her bassinet, and only slept in our arms for the first eight week of her life. After than we started co-sleeping (a post for another time).
Unfortunately this post didn’t have a lot to do with cake ☹. But I will make it up to you with the next one, I made a fabulous upside down pear cake with ginger-infused caramel. OOOOH NELLY is it good. Pics for proof for the next post.